Mess and Reflection

261 lbs

Since I (temporarily) flew the nest and moved coastal last May, my “home and hearth” life has been a struggle. At heart, I am an adventurous, entertaining nomad –  a bard, of sorts. Thus, one sympathizes with my hilarious, clumsy attempts at keeping still and growing roots. Welcome to my brain! Over here, we have cake and color and music. Self care is foreign, and idyllic fantasy is everything.

So, I made a list of my routine “stressors” and my routine “helpers”:

Self Care Helpers

• running and walking
• slowly organizing my room and kitchen
• making meals every day
• getting counseled every week
• reading the Bible and praying every day (these are important additions to living in Christ as His follower)
• I sent in my taxes 😀 (I feel really good about that. Hiring a great CPA makes the process fun, so why not mention taxes?)
• playing and improvising on the piano for fun
• taking care of dry scalp by experimenting with different natural shampoos
• feeling pretty: putting on mascara, wearing jewelry, and letting my hair down almost every day
• weirdly, the watch and shades (which I bought to improve my beach and exercise game. These two small items help make me feel capable and grounded)
• going to the beach every week
• church and friends and small groups every week
• flying out for breaks once a month
• cooking meals every day

Challenging Stressors:

• grad school
• work
• living in my car
• keeping my car and home clean
• volunteering
• commuting and travel
• composing harp music for an album with a deadline
• climbing obesity
• upcoming certification exam
• eating well
• keeping to my exercise schedule
• staying off screens

Before I say anything else…I have a Friend.

Thankfully, this Friend of mine keeps me grounded and reminds me what is real. His name is Jesus. He reminds me that, even though this world is not my home, I need to be still, know that He is God, and sit at His feet. Made in His image nonetheless, I am still a human with basic needs. Profound, right?

(Y’all, if you don’t know Christ, please get to know Him and read the book of John. If you already know Him as your personal Savior… get discipled, go to church, read your Bible, and pray. Cry out to Him, even – He’ll hear you!)

The more I’m present, the less I’m stressed. The less I’m stressed, the more I’m focused; and the more focused I am, the more intense my self care regime becomes.

Happy real-life-ing, friends.

– Photo by Scott Umstattd on Unsplash